Dear Doctor,
In Rodgers and Hammerstein’s classic musical South Pacific, the song “Happy
Talk” climaxes with the following philosophical question:
“You got to have a dream, If you don’t have a dream, how you gonna have a dream
come true?”
In this charming little ditty we find the missing link to so many of our issues
in practice and in life. You can’t hit a target if you don’t aim at it, and you
can’t aim at a target if you don’t know what it is.
There isn’t one of us who wouldn’t enjoy some pleasurable outcome (or even many
pleasurable outcomes!) but too many of us have yet to define that which we
really want. Maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s lack of self esteem, or maybe it’s an
unwillingness to commit, but one way or another, unless we learn, or rather
remember, how to dream, the likelihood of our success is greatly hampered.
Goal-Setting 101 plainly states that we must identify the objects of our desire
in order to pursue them, but dreaming is often overlooked as a method of
arriving at goals, considered childish or self-indulgent. In my mind, nothing
could be farther from the truth – many great scientific advances have stemmed
from dreaming, from Kekule’s resonating bonds of benzene to Einstein’s theory of
relativity, and those of us who have denied ourselves the joy of free thought
are missing something.
So how do we get back to our natural tendency to dream? It starts with a belief
that dreaming is worthwhile, valuable, and productive. The message many of us
got in childhood was, “Don’t be a dreamer, get your head out of the clouds, the
only way to get ahead is through hard work,” and a whole host of other
well-intentioned but sadly limiting beliefs that contributed to a backdrop of
constriction and futility in many of us. Others have dared to dream, but gotten
their noses bloodied along the way, which shut down the dreaming process.
But those of us who maintain a glimmer of hope are still willing to think big,
to invite ourselves into a grander destiny, and to make the investment in time,
energy, and spirit to follow through. The good news is, dreaming works as well
now as it always has, and by re-awakening the dreamer in us, our imaginations
prove to be ready to go at a moment’s notice.
Try this as an exercise, one that many of you will recognize. Answer the
question, “If there were no rules, and I couldn’t fail, what would my life be
like?” This serves as a portal of entry into the world of dreaming, where
unrestricted and unbridled fantasy can come alive in our thoughts and feelings.
Don’t judge what comes up for you, don’t eliminate any possibility, because the
purpose of the exercise is to let loose, to push the envelope, to get outside
the nine dots and be extreme and outrageous, without consequence. Is this
reality? Absolutely not, but the point of the exercise is not reality, it’s
dreaming, and this approach will help you reconnect with your dreams.
Each of us longs for inspiration, for motivation, and for the raw materials to
forge our own successes. Dare to develop the art of dreaming, and you’ll find an
essential key to a happy and fulfilling life – you got to have a dream, if you
don’t have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true?
Dr. Dennis Perman, for The Masters Circle
PS New patients, new patients – check out guest speakers Patrick Gentempo, Bill
Esteb and Tony Palermo, plus the TMC coaches in a new seminar on getting and
keeping the highest quality new patients. For more info, or to register, please
go to www.themasterscircle.com, or
call 800-451-4514.
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